The Holy Grail

I read ALOT of blogs written by waiters and waitresses.
It makes me feel better that I am not the only person out there who hates when you bring your baby in, make me give them crackers only to have them crushed in the floor so I am forced to get down on my hands and knees to pick up every bit. You know, things like that.

Waiter Rant is a great one. He has also written a book with the same name. If you have ever waited tables, you should go out and buy this book. In fact, if you ever go out to eat, PLEASE buy and read this book, you'll have a greater appreciation for your server.

Another I read it bitterwaitress.

She is hilarious. On her blog she has a glossary page.

Here are some of my faves:
You can read them all (along with the rest of her genuis on her site)http://bitterwaitress.info/wp/


Check - The thing you pay, and on which you tip 20% after tax. Check is a physical object,
and not a command to be uttered. It is acceptable to make the pen gesture to request your
check. If you have misbehaved, you will often find things added on to it. After all you are
only meant to pay it not to look at it.


Real Job - That which most people assume we do not have. Certainly long hours of
stressful labor isn’t really work. Of course the skills of dealing with many people at once is
not valuable. Training and education are not part of a real job. No, real jobs entail sitting
around, getting shat on by an old boss all day, then in turn being an ass to others, getting
frustrated and taking it our on your waitress at dinner that night. If that’s a real job then I
don’t want one.

Tip - 20% or more of the total of your bill left in cash without comment.


Verbal Tip - The belief on the part of some diners that effusive praise of service is
somehow a substitute for monetary compensation. These are some warped muthas. Say all
the nice things you want, just drop the 20% with the check and we’ll get along just fine.